On Sunday, the Indianapolis Colts went on the road to play the Cleveland Browns. And it had all the elements of a cheesy horror movie.
The generic setting: Cleveland, Ohio
Characters who lack any common sense: Played by Johnny Manziel, Josh Gordon, and the NFL officials
A ghostly appearance: By a shoeless T.Y. (The Ghost) Hilton
The heroes: Adam Vinatieri and the Colts defense
Teary reunion with a missing person: Colts center Khaled Holmes
The good guys: Colts quarterback Andrew Luck and Browns quarterback Brian Hoyer
Guy with overly strange name (which makes you think he’s the bad guy): Browns linebacker Barkevious Mingo
The real bad man: Browns cornerback Joe Haden
The bad script: Johnny Manziel: “I would have ****ing hit him.”
Cringe-worthy moments: Joe Reitz’s injury, Andrew Luck’s fumble in the end zone for a Browns touchdown
Creepy music: Theme song from the movie Halloween playing in the background at FirstEnergy Stadium
Mistaken identity: Colts offense pulls off their masks at halftime…crowd is shocked (and relieved) to see they are actually the Jacksonville Jaguars
Sex: I’m not sure what Johnny Manziel had on under that coat, but I’m pretty sure it was a cheerleader
It all made for a finished product that was no one’s best work. And yet, it got the job done. And made some money.
The Indianapolis Colts slipped by the Cleveland Browns 25-24 on Sunday.
A win is a win. But where wins are concerned, this one left a lot to be desired. I made a deal with the Football Gods in the fourth quarter that if the Colts won the game, I would not complain about how ugly it was. And I will hold up my end of that bargain.
However, I do feel obligated to point out a few things.
On Sunday, the Colts entered the fourth quarter of the regular season. This is the time where you hope (and expect) your team to be bringing it all together and playing their best football. Wins aside, the Colts are far from playing their best football right now.
This game was the mistake(s) by the lake that wasn’t. The Colts leave Cleveland intact. But if they don’t clean up their act, they may not escape their next enemy.
Michael Myers is still out there. And whether he’s dressed as Ryan Fitzpatrick, Tony Romo, or Jake Locker, he’s dangerous. And he’s out to get them.
It’s live or die time.
And I don’t just want the Colts to live…I want them to thrive.